Happy 8th Anniversary TVXQ!!!!!
Today is TVXQ's 8th anniversary. They debuted December 26th, 2003. ^___^ Here are just some anniversary videos that have been floating around the net.

First up is the return of our beloved k-cassies! (Korean cassies) Although they haven't gone anywhere, from this side of the world we (or at least I) don't really hear much from them as much as I used to just because this fandom gets so crowded sometimes. XD But here they are with a flashmob!

This is a video made my Save TVXQ!

Such a sad...but beautiful video. ^__^

And I'll close with this epic video!

So once again, happy anniversary TVXQ! Although I might bitch about you sometimes, I still love you more than life itself. Let's make 2012 a fantastic year! The original five, the only five, forever and always: TVXQ 

Jealous of Other K-pop Groups?
Now some of you might be wondering "um...you're a Cassie, fan of DBSK, winner of everything. You're at the top of the heap so how can you be jealous?"
Ok so this isn't going to be a "lets cry about the lawsuit" post because honestly if you haven't gotten over the fact that this lawsuit is going down then you're hopeless, but reading this on Allkpop this morning made me feel something very strange...

"VIPs worldwide drew a sigh of relief when YG Entertainment announced earlier this week that Big Bang would be performing as five at the YG Family Concert this weekend. The quintet hadn’t performed together since Love Song promotions in April due to Daesung‘s motorcycle accidentG-Dragon‘s marijuana scandal and both members’ subsequent hiatuses from the industry this year.

In the middle of the concert, resident rapper T.O.P expressed, “It’s incredible to have all five members of Big Bang united on one stage. I’m happy to be here to celebrate YG Entertainment’s fifteenth anniversary. This has been a busy year for YG Entertainment, but you have all stayed with and supported us and we thank you.

Daesung opened up, saying, “It’s been a while since I’ve performed on the stage. I’m just grateful to be here. The difficulties I experienced gave me a chance to realize how important music and the stage are to me. I will always be grateful to be on stage.

I’m sorry for creating so much trouble due to my mistake,” G-Dragon apologized. “I’ll be careful to not have this repeat again. I think I can only express my appreciation by giving better music and performances. I’ll do my best to give my fans a big present.

Despite the hardships that Big Bang has encountered and overcome this year, it’s safe to say that fans are thrilled and welcoming the quintet back with open arms."

Now before you all start throwing knives at me, I'm not saying that JYJ or HM should apologize at any of their concerts. They have nothing to apologize to Cassiopeia for in my opinion. 

I still remember the day when JYJ's "Thanksgiving in Tokyo Dome" concert was announced....that along with other shows on that mini tour. I was convinced...just CONVINCED that at one of those concerts (especially hopeful for the one in Tokyo Dome) that the three members of JYJ would sit down on stage facing the audience, tell us what happened, why it happened, and what we should do in the meantime. What do I mean? Something like this:

"Hi guys, this lawsuit happened for reasons x, y, and z. We left for reasons x, y, and z but Changmin and Yunho did not. Despite this, the five of us still love each other and while we're waiting for this legal battle to end, please keep supporting the five members of DBSK like you always have. Thank you. Are there any questions?"

So yes, this might seem a little far fetched, but instead all they did was stand on stage and cry...and although I was perfectly fine with this option (better than doing nothing at all) still this thing at the YG concert made me feel a little... disappointed. [of course maybe JYJ thought that Cassies could handle their own shit but at this point down the road we all know that we obviously can't]

So after the first round of JYJ concerts I just assumed that none of them could talk about the lawsuit for secret legal reasons that I didn't know about it... but when the five of them started talking about it on super duper extra controversial TV shows and magazine interviews I started wondering why they couldn't say this to our faces? Why are they saying this on live TV in front of the whole world when they couldn't even talk about it in concert? Sure HoMin haven't had a solo concert yet....but Big Bang didn't say this at one of their solo concerts either.

Am I being selfish right now? I feel like I am. But since I've gotten the vibe that DB5K thinks of us a mature, older women and men by releasing ultra serious things like 3hree Voices and releasing albums with no innocent fun and all sexy, heavy, depressing stuff then you'd think that this would mean that they could talk to us at concerts openly and honestly and even though I'd like to think that they're doing this right now, the fact that this separation issues hasn't been directly and bluntly adressed obviously proves me wrong.

Just something, ANYTHING. Something more than these subtle hints that most stans dismiss as being our own imagination. Sure I'm disappointed that Cassiopeia is like this right now, but I feel like if any of the five members had been up front about talking about this from the beginning then maybe Cassiopeia wouldn't have fallen so easily.

It's just that...if you really look at it, they haven't given us a reason as to why we should still support DB5K since the lawsuit happened and all of us that still do just support all five because we're fucking CASSIES and that's our job for christs sake. Faith and ONLY FAITH is pretty much the only thing directly driving this fandom right now imo....

I just think that we all approached this situation in the wrong way: Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin, and every single person around the world that calls themselves a Cassie. That is the only reason how I can explain myself feeling this way when I read that article this morning. 

And yes, I should just be happy that they're all still on stage and making music but I still feel this way. I'm not happy with just tears or the occasional "saranghae cassiopeia," "thank you cassiopeia." I can list 100 reasons why I should be but for some reason I'm not. 

But hey, whatcha gonna do about it? Wait for their next concert? Yep! 

Please someone tell me I'm not alone when I'm thinking like this! 

Kinda old video from band practice.

New piece I'm working on....

English Homework: 300 word long sentence
So we had to do a kinda strange assignment for english class today... the assignment was to write a sentence that was in the ballpark of 300 words long so.... here it is!

You don’t know how I am now no matter how much we worked, no matter how much we walked together and even in the times when we could not walk we crawled and even in the times we could not speak we hit our fists together until they bled but I bet you don’t remember that my dear old friend turned fuck buddy turned lover turned complicated turned ex turned partner in everything everyone knows we shouldn’t be doing, still fresh and ready to go to some who see us but then again to others we seem washed up and useless but now that we’ve spent the past two years apart I can say with confidence that you don’t know who I am now no matter how much we laughed no matter how much we smoked together out by my grandpa’s old porch not that you ever saw him when you weren’t higher than a kite (don’t think he didn’t notice) even on those particular days when you shouldn’t be but I never said anything (never did) because my papa always told me that a true friend is a friend that helps you move and/or conceal a body and we sure did that a lot of times even on those cold nights when the ground was hard to crack open to receive it’s all-natural fertilizer but even after that you don’t know where I am now no matter how much you called, no matter how much you stalked me after, no matter who or what chased you, no matter how much time you spent behind bars as I ran free, no matter how close your toes got to the electric chair.

Thoughts? Y'all should try it!

College Essay
I am afraid of bees.
“Are you allergic?” people always ask. Of course I’m not allergic! I’m not allergic to anything. But nevertheless from 10 yards away I can spot the tiny buzzing yellow and black demons out to reap my soul. Do you think that’s impressive? I can sense them even with my eyes closed coming nearer and nearer until I find the cause: my friend’s bottle of fresh lemonade. I teleport from the comfortable outdoor picnic tables into the air-conditioned room showered in artificial sunlight. Safety.

I don’t recall how I became to be so afraid of these satanic pixies of darkness; all that I know is that my fear of bees has gotten worse as I’ve grown older. When I was five, I was mildly cautious around them. When I was ten, I might’ve darted to the side a few feet to avoid them taking an extra shuffle to make up for any errors there might’ve been in my fear-induced calculations. By the time I was fifteen I would spend my mornings mapping out the “path of least flowers” to all of my classes even if it meant tacking on an extra two minutes to my transit. I have run away from the ball during lacrosse games, jumped off of outdoor stages during my band’s performances, thrown my lunch at a pot of flowers, cried, and jumped out into traffic many times trying to avoid bees and my parents scold me every time it happens. The funny thing is that the three times I’ve been stung haven’t been particularly painful at all.

However, I love honey. If there is honey in or on something I will eat it. If anything smells like honey I will buy it. In fact, if I go over 48 hours without having eaten something with honey in it I start to get the jitters. Honeycomb cereal, Honeynut Cheerios, Oats and Honey, toast with honey on top, biscuits with honey on the inside, granola cookies with honey, Honey Grahams, honey in my tea, and the extremely rare honey flavored lollypop. I enjoy at least one of these consumable items on a daily basis.
Sometimes I seem like a living paradox. My friends often laugh at me when they see me enjoying the products of the devil’s children but I think my situation is the result of some omnipresent being’s poor attempt at getting a good laugh. You’d think it would be enough to have me hate potatoes but love French fries, hate tomatoes but love ketchup, and hate running but love sports but no: My least favorite class is math despite the fact that math is my favorite subject, and I love happy music but only seem to write sad music.

Even though my very existence can seem like a contradiction to some, at the end of the day everything falls together. I’ve ended up as a mediator in all types of situations, some you can’t even imagine. My ability to see two opposing ideas as plausible helps me navigate through debates of any level of seriousness and when deciding the best course of action I can pick out the pros of both sides and combine them for the best outcome. Although this can lead to long hours at the mall debating which pair of shoes to buy, I have friends to help me out with important life decisions like these.  

The Inevitable Comparison!!! [Round 1]
So first I was going to post my fan account but....I forgot my camera in my friend's car yesterday so once I get that back I'll do the fan account.

But I might as well start off with (of course because I can't help it) the comparison of JYJ and HoMin live! 
For those of you who don't know, I saw HoMin live yesterday in New Jersey at this free KBS concert and I'll be seeing them again in two weeks at SM Town! I also saw JYJ's showcase in NYC and concert in NJ. Let's get this party started!

I think it's fair to compair JYJ's free concert to HoMin's free concert and JYJ's paid concert to HoMin's paid concert.

Well I think it's obvious that JYJ is the better vocal group just because they have JaeSu, but during JYJ's free concert they all had a terrible cold and well....HoMin didn't. So just because of unfortunate circumstances I'll have to give that one to HoMin!

Umm.....KYHD? Yea, HoMin wins this. 

Set List:
Seeing as I hated half of "The Beginning".....

Audience Interaction: 
JYJ's free concert had MC's to translate everything they said while HoMin just kind of were like "Hi, we're DBSK." Although I was sad about how short the MC sections were in JYJ's concert, AT LEAST THEY HAD ONE!!! But this is because JYJ had the entire show to themselves while HoMin had 15 minutes. Nevertheless, this prize goes to JYJ!

Fan merch:
JYJ had nothing....the KBS concert in combination with the festival caused me to spend all of my money. They had HoMin, JYJ, AND DBSK STUFF!!!! So yea, HoMin wins this category.

It's hard to judge for HoMin's show...but 7,000 people lined up to see JYJ even though only 3,400 got in. For the KBS concert there were 5,000 VIP seats, 15,000 regular seats, and grass for everyone else....I'd guess that in all there was like.... 22,000 people there? So 22,000 divided by 4minute, B2ST, SISTAR, SHINee, DBSK, 2PM, G.NA, and about a gazillion other artists that no one except old people enjoyed....split evenly that would be around 2,750. Of course judging by the crowd reactions to HoMin when they came on stage I think it's safe to say that many of those people would've shown up if it was only them coming so we'll bump that up to like.... 8,250. I mean, even the old ladies next to me were freaking out. But because of the setting, my memories from lining up to see JYJ the first time are much more powerful and I'm pretty sure lots of Cassies just decided to go to SM Town and skip out on the KBS drama llama so again I'll give this one to JYJ!

Fugly, for both of them. Yoochun was dressed like a fish but Junsu looked ok, same for Yunho. It all comes down to the battle of feathers between Jaejoong and Changmin. Luckily Jaejoong's feathers weren't as nearly as fugly as Changmin's. So JYJ wins this one as well!

Chaos leading up to the event:
JYJ's visa issues vs. KBS's stupidity issues..... I'm pretty sure the fall of the Roman Empire was more organized than the KBS concert but JYJ's concert organization was on a different level of hell. But congrats HoMin, you win the award for being a part of one of the most unorganized events I have ever attended in the history of forever!

Annoying fangirls: 

Annoying ajumma fans:

JYJ. Although for KBS many Cassies I saw weren't Korean, the festival as a whole felt like I had been dumped on the Korean countryside. And....umm.....racist ajumma??? Probs just a misunderstanding.


Amount of physical damage:
For JYJ I left with bruises, for HoMin I left with scrapped vocal chords. JYJ was much more of a physical battle though.

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My Final Blue and Gold Day

For those of you who don't know, blue and gold day is a very, very, very, very, very intense day in which the school is divided into the blue team and the gold team. I am the on the blue team because....

my sister was on the blue team AND before that my aunt was on the blue team. Similarly at the boys school across the street that has the colors light blue and dark blue: my cousin was on the dark blue team because my uncle was on dark blue because my dad was on dark blue.

People are sorted onto these teams when they first attend the school. So yes, I have been on the blue team for 14 years. (pre-k through 12th)

On blue and gold day, each grade has a race. Lower school (k-5th) races are worth 1 point each, middle school (5th-8th) races are worth 2 points, and upper school (9th-12th) races are worth 3 points. This was the closest blue and gold day we've had in a long time.

At the end of the lower school races, the score was 3-3.

At the end of the middle school races, the score was 5-9 gold.

At the end of the 11th grade race, the score was 11-12 gold.

It was all up to the 12th grade to decide the winner with the tug-of-war.

But gold won. 


How Time Passes

“To fans, I don’t want them to see me as an absolute existence, don’t want them to have their entire life revolving around me, spending money on me or doing things for me. If it’s too extreme, even if it’s not to support me, I hope you all can treasure your own lives. From there, you can sometimes look at my activities, treat my existence as vitamins, if you can do this for me, I will really be very happy.”

- Shim Changmin, Grazia Magazine Janurary 2011 Issue

This is going to sound really, really silly but I've honelsty been working on this ever since I read this interview early last December. And although I do admit I've grown a lot more sarcastic torwards Cassiopeia over the past 10 months I think it has only come with the start of the school year where I'm feeling like if I'm not going to crank down the hardcore-ness of all of this mess then I might as well turn it into something constructive. If it wasn't for k-pop I probably wouldn't want to be going to college for music business in the first place. It's kind of annoying, that feeling that you have to at least grow up a little, but even if I'm older than I used to be, who says I can't have fun?! So just like Star Wars, I should let this TVXQ water be absorbed into the sponge and use it to help me along when I need it. Afterall, even when I stopped talking about Star Wars 24/7, it didn't mean that I stopped considering myself as a Jedi. So here I start the gradual storage process of my Cassie self. The free KBS concert and SM Town, let's try to start from there as being my last hardcore hurrah. 2 shows for JYJ and 2 shows for HoMin. This will no doubt take a very, very long time. ^^

Of course, my life goal is still to spread music across the world, firstly bringing East Asian music to English-speaking countries. This inner enthusiast of mine will most likely never die.

But if they come back as 5...



Reorganizing the things in my life that don't matter
Since I know you'd all LOVE to know this information *sarcasm* I'm updating my weekly procrastination list.


no k-pop Sundays...

current k-drama catchup day instead!


American Mondays


no JYJ Tuesdays


chill cassie Wednesdays 


no HoMin Thursdays


have-a-ilfe Fridays


Japanese Saturdays


JANURARY - junk food month

FEBRUARY - lax is life time

MARCH - lax is life time

APRIL - lax is life time

MAY - extra hardcore star wars month

JUNE - k-drama catchup month

JULY - military cassie vacation month

AUGUST - nuclear cassie explosion month

SEPTEMBER - tennis is life time

OCTOBER- tennis is life time

NOVEMBER - k-pop chill month

DECEMBER - k-pop freakout month


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